Dread
by twilightfan12356
Summary: Leah imprints on Carlisle. Watch as they struggle with their feelings? Will they end up together? Rated m for some sexual references and lota of DRAMA. Please read and review and check out my other stories. :)
1. Just Friends

**This is just an idea that I had from a while ago. It's just a little one shot. This is the first time I've written Leah/Carlisle but be aware that this is NOT ROMANCE. If you like this, review it please. I used to hate those people who constantly beg you to review but now I get it. It motivates you to keep writing. Any who, please go read my other story Healing Leah and review that as well and please do not think I am abandoning that story because I am not. I'll stop talking now. Hope you enjoy!**

That moment when I looked into his eyes, I felt everything change. Gravity no longer held me in place. He did. I couldn't draw my eyes from his. But with this feeling of elation came a sense of dread. For it was Doctor Carlisle Cullen who had brought on these feelings. And like a bat out of hell, I fled. Faster than I had ever run before.

A coward. That's what I had become. I'd tried as much as possible to hide but it was inevitable that my pack brothers saw the change in me. Still, avoidance had become my new best friend.

But I could not avoid the suspicions brought on by my mom. My constant excuses to stay home, while her and Seth went to go visit Charlie and the Cullens did not go unnoticed. She'd sat me down on few occasions and asked what was wrong. My reply was always the same. "Nothing. I've never particularly like them." She'd agree with my reply with a hesitant nod and I'd continue my brooding alone in my room.

In reality, as the years had gone by, after the almost battle with the Volturi, my problems with the large vampire clan had become less and less. She knew this. But my mother, never one to be a pusher, let me be.

Jacob was having none of this. He stormed through my house and finally stopped short when he saw my room. Or at least what was left of it. I doubt I looked any better. My suspicions were confirmed when he finally looked up at me and did a double take.

"Leah, you have to stop this", he said, carefully walking over the mess that was my room, to reach me.

"Stop what?"

"Dammit, don't play games with me! Go to him. The pain will kill you. Trust me, I'd know." Ah, that's right. He's imprinted on the little demon spawn that I had grown quite fond of over the years.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I'd said in hopes he'd leave me alone. And the conversation continued on like this for a while. My apparent ignorance and Jacob ranting at me about how much of a mess I had become. After he had no more to say, he finally uttered on last sentence before he left, that had _me_ doing a double take.

"He at least deserves to know."

And that is how I found myself, once again, standing at the Cullen doorstep, alongside Seth and Jacob. I hung back while they entered, allowing myself a moment of preparation. When I finally calmed my nerves enough, I found he was not with the other members of his family in the foyer.

"He's in his study, I'll show you." The mind reader said. I wondered for a moment if he knew. A slight movement of his head, indicated that he did know. I followed him up several flights of stairs before stopping outside a tall mahogany door that held my fate behind it. I thanked Edward before cautiously knocking. He granted my entrance and for a moment I stood there feeling the same feeling of dread that had filled me before. He offered me a seat in which I quickly obliged.

"What can I do for you", he'd asked. Love me.

"I have to tell you something but..I don't know how." I had never been one with words but I had also never been known to become easily nervous.

"You can tell me anything. The wolves have risked their lives for us more than once and I consider all of you my friends," he'd said with all the sincerity in the world. I could almost bet he'd heard my heartbeat increase.

"I've imprinted", I said. Short, sweet, and to the point. I knew what question would come next.

"That's not bad at all. On whom?" he'd asked with joy coloring his voice. For me.

"You." My mouth formed around the word but it still came out as only a whisper. He blinked at me for a moment, in a very unvampire-like manner.

"If you don't like me in that way it's okay. I just need to be around you. When I'm not, _it hurts._ And I know you're with Esme and she's really great. I just really needed to let you know. You at least deserved that", I'd cut my rambling short when I heard nothing from him. And for a moment my doubts had vanished. He hadn't immediately rejected me, at least. Until.

"Leah, you will always be a part of my family, like I have said before. But I am in love with Esme. I'm sorry. How can I make this easier for you?"

Put a bullet through my heart. I shook my head and realized tears had begun to drip from my eyes. I felt like a school girl who'd just been rejected by a teacher she'd had a crush on. I felt icy fingers brush away my tears. My heart soared at the touch. He gently nudged my chin, wanting me to look up.

"Leah. If it makes the pain go away, you know the pack is welcome over here anytime. I truly hope this does not affect our relationship", he said gently, his golden gaze speaking of nothing but honesty.

I nodded my head stupidly. I felt as though my heart was being torn and sewed back together all at the same time. I had lost one love and now I had lost another. But who said I had to? I would be anything for him. That was the part of imprinting I had been thinking of lately. Maybe this just ensured I would have a lifelong friend.

This time, I couldn't find the source of my tears. Soon after, I felt his cold arms encircle me and I'd let myself cry in his stone, cold shoulder. And when I was done, I'd felt a weight had been lifted. We'd sat in companionable silence for a moment, both mulling over the turn of events that had brought us here.

"Leah."

"Leah." I heard my name being called. I turned to look at him and he asked me to close my eyes. I obliged without question. I felt him closer and my heartbeat was increasing at crazy speeds. His cool breath fanned out across my face before I felt his cool lips on mine. I didn't want it to end. It was as if everything in my life didn't matter except for this moment. Just a moment. I'd gotten so caught up in it, the gentle doctor had to push me away.

"Oops", I'd said in apology. He chuckled at me before mussing my hair. I joined his infectious laughter.

"I know I don't feel about you in _that_ way but at least you have something to remember, now".

We'd stayed like this for what felt like hours. All the while, I grinned like a fool.

_He'd kissed me._

Imprinting couldn't get better than this moment.

_Fin_

**I Hoped you guys enjoyed that. Please review and go read my other stories. I appreciate everyone who has been reading my stories. Thanks. **


	2. Begging For More

**So I've gotten some really good feedback on this story so I decided to continue and see where I could take it. Thank you for everyone who has reviewed it and please continue reviewing and let me know what you think! **

I sighed. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. After finally telling Carlisle about my feelings and being told we could only be friends due to his wife, I'd finally started to warm up to the idea. But it seemed to get harder and harder to not try to take things farther as the days went on. Carlisle was exceedingly patient with me and spent almost as much time with me as he did Esme. I couldn't help but wonder if Esme really didn't mind that a hot, tan werewolf (no pun intended) had imprinted on her husband. I didn't like the feeling of imposing but it was hard to stay away from my imprint and Esme seemed to always welcome me.

I snapped out of my thoughts just in time to have my head ram into a tree. I heard Seth and Jacob's barking laughs behind me. I growled at them before trotting away as if nothing happened. To be honest, it hurt like hell. I shook my head a few times, to clear my vision, before continuing my venture to the Cullen house. It had been 2 weeks since I'd poured my heart out and I'd returned to their home every day since. I found that it was becoming harder and harder to judge my other pack brothers for their imprinting since I knew what it felt like. Especially, the pain. All this imprinting business was making me nicer. When I was away from Carlisle, it was like my heart being ripped into. I _needed_ him, in every meaning possible.

Once we'd reached a close enough area to the Cullen place to phase, I quickly got dressed before meeting up with Jacob and Seth where the trees ended.

"So, how are things going with _Carlisle?_", Seth said, waggling his eyebrows at me suggestively. I hit him in the chest, eliciting a whine from him.

"We're just friends, you dork", I admitted after a while. Although I'd for the most part come to terms with it, it still hurt. He nodded and shut up after that. _Thank God._ We reached the door and walked in as a pack. At least I knocked before I entered. Jacob and Seth barreled in and immediately went to the kitchen where you could always expect some treat from Esme. It was hard not to like her. All the more reason for me to feel guilty for imprinting on her husband.

I walked in a lot slower and my eyes subconsciously roamed around the room looking for Carlisle although I knew he'd be either in his study or at the hospital. Esme's head popped out of the kitchen for a second to greet me.

"He's in his study. You can go on up", she called, before returning to her cooking. I smelled the scent of chocolate wafting from the kitchen. I'd have to come back and try some later on.

I had to stop myself from skipping up the Cullen's long staircase as I walked to Carlisle's study. I didn't bother with knocking, knowing he wouldn't mind, before strode in. He smiled at me and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I stared at him for a moment, the relief flooding my body. Just to _see_ him. A large smile stretched across my face before I ambled over to where he sat at his desk and dragged him over to the couch (much to his amusement) before plopping down in his lap. I wasn't sure if this was an uncomfortable position for him but I damn sure was comfortable. I checked his expression to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable and found him still smiling. I hugged him tightly, inhaling his scent.

"Hey, by the way", I whispered into his shoulder.

"Hey", he said, laughter coloring his voice. We sat in comfortable silence for a moment before I felt him nudge my side gently. I must've almost fallen asleep without knowing it. His amused glance confirmed that.

"What would you like to do? Don't want you falling asleep on me again, do we?" he said smiling at me. I had a few things I wanted to do. That involved him. And a bed. But I couldn't tell him that so I settled on him telling me a story of his life when he was human.

"Ah I had a feeling you'd ask about my human life eventually. Which one would you like to hear?"

"Any of them. Just hearing your voice is enough", I said before realizing I may have gotten a little too mushy for just friends. Cue foot in mouth. This seemed to be happening a lot as well. I looked up at him cautiously but found only a gentle smile on his face. He seemed to be able to read my thoughts because he laughed at me before tweaking my nose. I scowled at him before giving up and laughing along with him.

"Did I ever tell you the story of when I first met Esme?" he asked after the laughter died down. I shook my head. Part of me wanted to hear the story but the other didn't want to hear about how my imprint had found his one true love with someone who was infinitely more beautiful, kinder, and all around a better person than me. I snapped out of my thoughts when his smooth voice began the story.

"It was 1911 and I was working a late shift in the hospital when Esme was submitted to me for a broken leg. She was 16….." I quickly began to fall asleep to the lull of his soft voice and the last thing I felt was his cool lips on his forehead before I drifted off. My dreams were filled with mine and Carlisle's moans as we joined as one.

"L_eah"_

"_Yes, Carlisle" I moaned._

"Leah, it's not Carlisle, its Jacob. Now, wake up." I slowly opened my eyes and after the fogginess of my dream cleared I saw Jacob looking down at me from my place on Carlisle's couch and rather uncomfortable looking Carlisle sitting at his desk. What had I dreamed about that made him so uncomfortable?

"Leah, what exactly were you dreaming about?" Jacob said with a mischievous glint in his eye. _Oh god, I hope he didn't mean….._

"Never mind that, what did you want so bad that you just had to wake me up?" I snapped to hide my embarrassment.

"We need to have a talk. You can continue your little dream when we get back", he said smugly with a cocky grin. _He knew._ I glanced over at Carlisle and saw him concentrating pretty hard on the paperwork in front of him. Well, _that_ was going to be awkward. I stretched before getting off the couch and following Jacob down the stairs.

"Where's Seth?" I realized he hadn't been there when we reached the bottom of the stairs.

"He went to Charlie's with your mom a little while ago," Jacob answered.

Once we'd gotten far enough in the forest, I quickly removed my clothes, sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening that my thoughts didn't give away what I had just been dreaming about Carlisle, and phased.

_You called, Most high alpha,_ I said mockingly. I had to admit, it did feel good to stretch my muscles in wolf form again.

_Leah, I think it's time we tell Sam about the imprint, _Jacob thought cautiously. I felt a few emotions bubble up but fury was the most prominent.

_What the fuck, Jake? Does Sam need to know every detail of my life? Just because you still have your head stuck up Sam's ass doesn't mean everyone else has to deal with it. Sam will _not_ know about the imprint. It's none of his business,_ I snapped. Any mention of Sam seemed to always bring out the worst in me.

_Leah. Shut up. It's not like that. I just think he should know that you've imprinted so he won't try anymore stunts like he did with Renesmee, _he said. I could hear in his head that he was speaking the truth.

_ You sure this is not just an alpha control thing, _I thought, partially teasing him and still not really believing him.

_Leah, you know I never wanted to be an alpha. And besides were _friends_ Leah. I'm not just your alpha. Part of the reason I want you to do this is so you can finally get some closure with Sam. I don't like seeing you hurt. _I tried to hide how touched I was by his words, by nudging him in the side playfully.

_Alright. Let's get this thing over with, _I thought after the moment passed.

_Now?_

_Yes, now. I don't want to have to hold this off any longer than necessary, _I thought back before taking off in a run to the treaty line where I knew Sam and his followers would be. We reached the line fairly quickly and like I suspected Sam stood in human form flanked by Paul in his wolf form. I wondered if I should change to my human form as well and Jacob confirmed that he thought it would be best. I quickly phased behind a bush before coming back out to face Sam.

"Jacob says you have something to talk to me about?" Sam started out. I nodded my head to his question before cutting right to the chase.

"I've imprinted, Sam. On Carlisle Cullen." Paul barked beside Sam for a second in obvious disgust before being quieted down by Sam.

"I don't believe you. How could you possibly have imprinted on him? It's bad enough Jacob imprinted on one of them", Jacob growled in warning at this before Sam continued", and now you. No, I don't believe you. This is all just an act to make me jealous isn't it? Isn't it bad enough that you've made Emily and I's life a living hell. Now you're making up lies. This is ridiculous."

Each word was like a knife in my gut. I guess San did still have that affect over me. I felt tears burn the inside of my eyes before I pulled myself together.

"You don't have to believe me. But you will not talk about my imprint in that way. This is it, Sam. This is where we end. You are my past. Believe what you want, but I'm through fawning over you like a high school girl", I barely managed to phase before the tears began to fall. His words still echoed in my head. Wisely, Jacob stayed quiet as I ran ahead of him back to the only place I felt I belonged. With my imprint. I made it there in record time, Jacob struggling to keep up behind me.

I phased back and quickly whipped away my tears before walking out of the forest. I met up with Jake and he offered me a sympathetic smile and a hug, which was a little awkward but I had a feeling he knew whose arms I really longed for. Carlisle. Only Carlisle. I walked into the Cullen mansion not even bothering with hellos before reaching his office and nervously making sure you could see no sign of my tears before going into his office. He was sitting on his couch, writing in what looked to be a journal of some sorts. I gave him as much of a smile as I could manage, before taking my usual seat on his lap. He closed his journal before putting his arm around my tense shoulders.

"Well, hello there", he said, gently.

"Hi", I said and to my embarrassment my voice cracked, revealing my earlier tears. I tried to look away from his concerned gaze but his cold hand held my chin in place.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but it looks to me like you have been crying", he said, trying to lighten the mood a little. I few tears escaped the corners of my eyes and landed on his grey shirt before being wiped away by his gentle fingers.

"Maybe a little", I said, letting out a sob escape my lips. He put both of his arms around me before shushing my sobs. His touch sent tingles down my spine and nearly made me forget why I was crying.

"Was it something with the pack?" he asked. My silence confirmed his answer. He sighed before burying his face in my hair and allowing my head to fit into the crook of his neck.

"I won't pressure you to tell me anything, but if you would like to talk, I am here," he said, looking into my eyes. His golden eyes were smoldering and I couldn't help holding his eyes and imagining that there was something more than friendship there.

I pulled myself together long enough to tell him about what had transpired between Sam and I. From Sam calling me a liar to me telling him we were through although I wasn't sure if my heart fully agreed. My mind, heart, and soul belonged to my imprint but I had a feeling that a small part of me still belonged to Sam. I finished the story and at that point I was in tears again.

"None of those things were true. You are beautiful, headstrong, independent young woman and Sam doesn't see that, then it's _him _who has missed out. You can't allow him to get to you forever, Leah. You have too much going for you to allow that to happen." By the time Carlisle had finished, I was speechless. I couldn't help imagining what it would've been like if Carlisle and I were together. Then I could give him the proper kiss he deserved right now. Those cold lips on mine. Comforting me in no way anyone else could. I found myself unconsciously leaning forward and my eyes closing on their own accord.

"Leah," I heard Carlisle call before I snapped out of my thoughts and met his embarrassed gaze. My mouth opened in shock and I quickly apologized for my stupid actions.

"It's alright, leah", he said, understandingly although I felt as though it certainly was _not_ alright. We had agreed to be friends and I had nearly ruined it all. I doubt this had gotten past the vampires who were currently downstairs as well with their vampire hearing. I thought of Esme. I felt tears of mortification roll down my cheeks and I turned away from Carlisle as to not let them show although I could not hide my quiet sobs.

I felt Carlisle's cold hand on my shoulder turn me back around.

"I'm sorry Leah. I wish I could give you what you want but I _can't_," he said, with genuine pain coloring his tone. More tears trickled down my cheeks and I found myself sobbing al little louder. The crease between Carlisle's eyebrows got deeper revealing his true age.

"_Please, Carlisle"_ I nearly begged, my voice mingling with my still flowing tears. I didn't know when I had become so willing to risk Esme and Carlisle's entire marriage for my own selfish reasons but at the moment all I could think about was how much I _wanted_ him. In every way.

"I _can't._" I noticed his resolve break a little under the pressure. I leaned a little closer until my lips were nearly touching his as I whispered a final "_Please."_ I looked into his eyes and could nearly see his inner struggle. When I had I become so manipulating? I broke out of these thoughts when he placed his hand on my cheek and whipped away the tears that still lay there before I felt his trembling lips pressed against mine hesitantly. I quickly deepened the kiss and darted my tongue between his parted lips. He hesitated before returning the gesture. I urged him on but felt his resistance. I pulled back from the kiss and looked into his eyes and found nothing there but sympathy. This was out of sympathy. I had imagined it all along. He could never be mine.

From the corner of my eye, I found a movement and looked over to see Esme standing there with shock and hurt on her face. That I had caused. Carlisle and I quickly leaned back from our leaning positions. That familiar feeling of dread filled my stomach.

I found myself running from the Cullen mansion once again.

**I hope you guys enjoyed that. I tried to make a bit of a twist with this. I know the kiss was a bit OOC for Carlisle but at the end of the day he is a man and it is rather hard to resist the imprint even though he's in love with Esme. I may try to add another chapter today as well. Please review and thank you for everyone who's been reading **


	3. Good For Now

**Hey, Guys! Here's another chapter. I know it's been a while since I've updated but I've been pretty busy because I'm moving soon. I'm sorry to anyone who is waiting for me to update and I hope you continue reading and please continue reviewing and I hope you like it. **

I had ruined it**. **I seemed to ruin everything I touched. Carlisle would probably never speak to me again. And who knew what would happen to Carlisle and Esme's marriage. I had been so stupid. I had never been so desperate in my life but my actions were just plain selfish. If this was what imprinting meant, then I wanted no part of it.

I was broken out of my thoughts by the sickly sweet scent of vampire.

"What do you want?", I snapped at him. It was bad enough that they had actually been allowed on the reservation. After long debate of whether Renesmee could pass the treaty line, since she was Jake's imprint, the council finally allowed it. I guess since they were her parents, they were allowed as well. Edward and Bella were the only Cullens I truly could not stand. And now since Charlie and Sue were doing things that I will not speak of, she wanted to be my new best friend. I realized the mind reader was still behind me, probably hearing everything I had just thought.

"Actually I hadn't intended for you to be here. Jacob didn't mention you coming. I apologize if I'm imposing", he said, in the creepy way of his. He talked like he was still in another time. I suppose I couldn't blame him. He was at least a century old. He chuckled at my thoughts and I glared at him before turning back to the cliff I had been sitting at the edge of for the last hour. Renesmee had insisted that Jake take her cliff diving. He was hesitant at first, but true to the imprint, could not deny her. Trying to be nice, he'd invited me as well. It was cloudy day and the sun peeked out just enough to make it a beautiful day. The breeze did feel nice.

"Ugh. Damn straight you're imposing. So you can take your sparkly ass somewhere else if you don't mind", I snapped at him. I didn't need this today.

"But now that I have you here, I'd like to talk to you about something." Oh boy. I could already guess it was about Carlisle.

"Yes it is. I know that the imprinting thing is hard on you but I don't take kindly to someone interfering with my family. You can probably understand my delima", he said, always a gentleman. Yeah, right. He'd basically just called me a fucking home-wrecker. I guess that wasn't far off but still hearing it from a bloodsucker didn't mean it pissed me off any less.

"Look, you think I don't know I screwed up. 'Cause I do, okay. I've ruined their marriage and I've broken up your family but I do not need you here to make me any more guilty. I've been doing that for the last 2 hours, thank you. So if you'll excuse me", I gave him the hint to leave. He clearly didn't get it.

"Leah —"

"Okay! I get it! I've ruined your life. I wasn't planning on going near your family ever again after what happened anyway so you can let it go, alright?", I seethed. I mean, I was already guilty enough without some filthy bloodsucker trying to make it worse.

"That's not actually where I was trying to take this conversation exactly. I don't think you should run away from your problems." Now I was confused.

"I thought you—"

"Just, let me finish", Oddly, I did", I don't think you should run away like you keep doing. Yes, you were wrong but you need to face them. It's not only you at stake here," he said in a way that nearly reminded me of his father's comforting tone. Like father, like son.

"I can't. I've already done enough. I'd rather sit here and drown in my self-pity, if you don't mind. I bet you'd know a lot about that", I said. I'll admit, I did want to hurt him as much as I was hurting right now.

"I know you do. And that won't hurt you. You need to fix this before you hurt anyone else", he said before turning to leave. I watched him retreat and heaved a weary sigh.

He was right. I couldn't run for my entire life. Running had always been one of the best parts of being a werewolf. Feeling the wind in my hair. Not thinking about anything, or anyone. Just running. But not this way. Not when it was ruining the thing that matter most to me. I had always grown up to stand up for myself and what I believed in. When had this changed?

I scrambled off the edge of the cliff I had been occupying, before I changed my mind. This was definitely not going to be easy but I had to do it, no matter what. I gave Jacob a short nod to let him know I would be off before phasing and running off to the one place I didn't want to me and yet the one place I had missed the most. It was times like these when my imprint became conflicting.

I arrived at the Cullen mansion in record time and found myself hesitating at the door, after I had phased, over something as trivial over whether I should knock or just walk in as I had done so many times before. I didn't have to consider this for long.

The door opened to reveal none other than Esme Cullen. We stood staring at each other for a moment, before she opened the door wider without saying a word, to let me in. I cautiously entered the door and found myself staring at an empty living room.

"You can take a seat, if you would like", she offered. Always nice, even when I had probably broken up her family. Man, this lady was off her rocker. Still, I took her offer and seated myself in the farthest seat from hers. We sat in awkward silence with only the sound of my thudding heart to fill it.

"I'm not mad at you, you know", she said with a gentle smile. I opened my mouth and closed it a few times which I'm sure resembled a fish but I couldn't decided if I had heard her correctly.

"I can only imagine how hard the imprint might be. You've been through a lot, Leah. I know how that feels. I don't blame you for kissing him. You can't help who your soul mate is. I am disappointed in you both. But not mad."

"How can you not be mad? I threw myself at your husband! Hit me, attack me, something! Don't just sit there and say you're not fucking mad! What the hell does that even mean? Are you trying to drive me crazy here or what? Should I dangle my bloody body in front of you? Will that get a reaction from you?" She let me finish my rant before sitting beside me on my couch and placing her arm around me. I hadn't realized I'd started to shake. Her arm around me probably wasn't helping but I knew it was an action of comfort so I allowed it.

"Leah. I've been through a lot, too. Not in just my vampire life but my human life as well. I know what it's like to feel rejected, unwanted. I don't expect you to push Carlisle away. He's you're imprint. Your soulmate. I won't take that away from you", I started to cut in, before she stopped me with a single hand", but I need you to understand something. I am in love with Carlisle. And I know he loves me too. But I can not allow you and his relationship to interfere with that. And I won't."

"Look, I understand that and I'm really really sorry about the kiss thing. I promise I'll keep our relationship just friends. If you even still trust that shit after what happened", I realized I'd cussed in front of her. I looked up and surprisingly found her laughing.

"Yes, I still trust that shit", she said, nudging me gently. My eyebrows nearly went to my eyebrows. Did Esme Cullen just swear? I guess the vamps had finally realized they were in the 21st century. I surprised myself by bursting out in laughter, both of our laughs mingling in together. I realized Esme had stopped laughing and now was softly smiling at something behind me. I turned around to see a guilty looking Carlisle stood awkwardly in the entry way.

"I think you two should probably talk", Esme said before excusing herself. Carlisle cautiously approached and took the seat across from me. It felt like ages passed before I finally couldn't take the silence anymore. It was creepy how long a vampire could sit still.

"I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Not even the imprint thing. And now it has and everythings going up into flames and it's all my fault."

"It's not only your fault. I could've stopped you. A part of me didn't _want_ to stop you. Part of me belongs to you, Leah", he said softly. My heart soared and I allowed myself a slight smile.

"But Leah", Ah, the but I'd been waiting for", my heart belongs to Esme and it always will. Once a vampire finds it's mate it's very hard to reverse that. You will always be in my life Leah but not in the way you want. We can't allow what happened, ever happen again. I need you to understand that," he said. I felt my heart plummet to my stomach. I had to admit, a small part of me hoped that he wanted me in that way. That Esme and him would both agree to just split ways. But I realized a greater portion of me was hoping that things could go back to the friendship we had had before.

I sat mulling over what he'd just said before getting up, and taking a seat beside him. He smiled at me gently and took my hand into his.

"Friends?" he asked, with a glint of mischief in his voice.

"Friends." I agreed before laying my head on his shoulder. Things were good. They always were. Until something comes and takes you by the heart and changes everything. And that's when things start to turn bad again. I'd try to enjoy the good for now. Until.

**Thanx for reading. In the next chapter, there's going to be a twist involving Leah. So please keep reading. I'll try to update more often. I know it took a while for this chapter so please be patient with me. Hope you enjoy and continue reading and reviewing! ;P**


	4. AN

**Hey guys, so I know in the last chapter I told you there would be a twist. But I started **

**writing the next chapter today and it just doesn't fit. So it would be really awesome if you **

**guys gave me some ideas on what you want the big twist to be for Leah. If you could, I **

**would really really appreciate it. Thank you to everyone who has been reading my story **

**and thanks for the ideas, in advance**


	5. Goodbye

**Hey everyone! So I know I haven't updated in a very long time and I am sorry for that. But I have finally moved and settled in to my new house so now I am back. Hopefully I haven't lost any of you guys. Anywho, I'm giving you another chapter today and I know I said last time there would be a twist for Leah but I changed some things. Also this chapter is M rated so yeah. If you don't like that stuff I'd skip it. I'll stop talking now and let you read and please review. Bye xoxo**

_Things were good. They always were. Until something takes you by the heart and changes everything. And that's when things start to turn bad again. I'd try to enjoy the good. Until._

The atmosphere as I entered the Cullen house was….different to say the least. Jacob and Seth sat in the far corner, both looking a little awkward. I scanned the room. All of the Cullens sat with very forlorn expressions. My eyes wandered over the room and widened when they reached the last couch. Esme sat beside a man, who was clearly not a full vampire, with his arm around her. It finally dawned on me who this was. Nahuel. He had helped the Cullens during the almost battle with the Volturi. My mouth gaped open but I realized no one had even noticed me yet or at least hadn't chosen to acknowledge me.

I walked forward to make my presence known. Seth noticed me first and I furrowed my eyebrows at him, silently asking what was going on. I didn't get an answer.

"Hey everyone", I said, breaking the silence. You don't realize how creepy it is to have seven pairs of golden eyes staring at you at once, until it happens to you personally.

"Hello, Leah", Alice addressed me very dully which was very out of character for the normally bubbly vampire.

"Okay, who died?" I said jokingly. No one cracked a smile. As I looked around me I finally found out what that uncomfortable feeling I had was.

Carlisle was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked, impatience coloring my voice.

"We don't know. He stormed out a few hours ago. His thoughts only revealed that he wanted to be alone", Edward answered. My eyebrows touched my hairline.

"And no one thought to go looking for him?"

"He wants to be alone. I know him. He'll be okay."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time", I said before storming across the room.

"Where are you going?"

"To find him", anger seeping through my clenched teeth.

"We can help if…."

"No, you've done enough." I stormed out, making sure to slam the door behind me. I quickly ran to the forest and phased. I swear for vampires they could be such idiots. Did they really need reminding of that time when Edward went all suicidal and went to the Volturi to die? The thought of the red eyed monsters made me shiver. I couldn't even imagine Carlisle doing that. I quickened my pace.

My nose trailed along the branches and I ignored the sharp pricks that hit my foot every few seconds from the pine needles on the forest floor. I didn't stop until I came upon a branch with the remnants of Carlisle's scent on it. I followed this trail, dodging trees as I went and finally the scent disappeared. I looked around for a moment. I had reached a clearing but there was no sign of Carlisle in sight.

I moved forward slightly until I caught sight of a something shimmering in the sunlight. I moved a little further and breathed a sigh of relief. A slither of Carlisle's golden locks peaked out over the hill he sat at the bottom of. I trotted back into the trees to phase and quickly got dressed.

I exited the trees and slowly walked towards him. He was sitting on a large tree stump with his head cradled in his hands. His head twitched in my direction and I knew he had sensed me standing there watching him. I continued toward him, this time not caring to be quiet. When I reached him, he lifted his head.

"Hello, Leah", his voice broke. He looked so sad sitting on that rock. I was used to strong, Carlisle. He was the head of the family. But right now I saw nothing but vulnerability plastered on his face.

I took a seat beside him not saying anything until I was sure he wasn't going to.

"What's going on, Carlisle?"

He looked down again. I already had a feeling about what had happened but I wasn't sure.

"That guy Esme was with…..was he…..?"

"Her true mate", he finished for me. I sat shocked for a moment but not shocked at all.

If vampires could cry, I think Carlisle was pretty close. A layer of tears covered his golden eyes but would never fall. Surprising me, his head fell onto my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and he held on for dear life. I wasn't used to this Carlisle. He was usually the comforter. And call me selfish, but as I was holding him I couldn't help thinking, if Nahuel was Esme's true mate all along, what did that mean for me and Carlisle?

When I looked up again he was gazing at me with those sorrowful eyes but there was something else in them. Something….

"Leah…."

"Don't. Don't do this now", I begged. His eyes were getting darker. I knew what that look meant. I wanted him too but there was only so much rejection I could take.

"Leah." He said one last time, his eyes smoldering. He leaned forward. He knew he had me.

Our lips found each other hungrily. Not the gentle kissed I had expected from Carlisle. His eyes spoke nothing but sorrow. No love. Not for me, at least. I was the rebound. How had I not noticed?

Still I didn't stop him when he opened up my shirt, gazing in my eyes silently asking for permission. I nodded and threw my head back as his mouth came down and bit on my nipple gently. His other hand played with the breast unattended to and I moaned at the feel of his fingers kneading my breast.

I needed more. I removed his mouth from my breast and replaced it with his other hand so he could kiss me. His tongue angrily swirled in my mouth. I tried to slow him down but it just wasn't working. But this is what I had wanted. I'd wanted all of him. Right?

His hands moved from my breasts and trailed down my stomach, leaving a path of ice in its wake. It felt so good and yet so wrong. I let out a whimper as I felt his cold finger dip into my underwear and trace a trail around its target. I urged him on.

"Please, Carlisle", his eyes were black now. He dipped his finger into me, teasing my opening. He pumped a finger in and out and then added another as I writhed beneath him. I felt like I was going to explode.

"You're so wet, Leah", he whispered into my ear. I shivered at his cool breath tickling me. He brought his mouth back to mine and I took this opportunity to unbuckle his belt and remove his pants and underwear in one sweeping movement. His manhood immediately stood erect and I unabashedly watched him.

My hands moved toward him on their own accord and I watched him throw his head back as I felt him. He pulled my hands away and positioned himself at my opening. I ached for him and had to restrain myself from bucking against him.

He entered me and we both moaned at the feeling. With every thrust, he left feather light kisses all over me and for a while I didn't think we were just having sex and I wasn't just the rebound. Just for a moment, we were actually making love.

With one finally thrust, he collapsed on top of me, kissing my forehead, my neck. I looked into his eyes and saw them glistening again. I place my hand on his check and smiled.

"That was amazing. Thank you", I said. It felt weird to thank someone for sex but I couldn't think of much else to say. His expression though…..it worried me.

"Carlisle, what's-", He cut me off with a kiss. This one wasn't aggressive like before but there was still something off about it. It felt like the kiss we'd shared the day we'd gotten caught by Esme. A kiss full of nothing but pity. I pulled back.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?", I kind of knew the answer before he'd said it. Still, I shook my head in disbelief when I realized what was happening…..again.

"Leah."

"Stop. Stop saying my name. Just stop", I said, holding back tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Fuck you", I spat, scrambling up to find my clothes which had somehow gotten scattered around the clearing. He stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Leah, I'm sorry. Can we talk?" his eyes pleading with me to listen.

I crossed my arms but didn't object.

"Leah, you know I would never intentionally hurt you. But I still love Esme. We should have never done this. I think it's best if we don't see each other as much anymore. I can't keep doing this to you", he looked down at the ground, ashamed.

My tears fell a few inches from his feet.

"Carlisle." I whispered. I tried to get him to look at me, to _really_ look at me but the look in his eyes was so cold and distant, I wasn't sure if he could.

"I really hope you can forgive me. I can't see you hurt anymore. Goodbye, Leah", he leaned forward and kissed me so softly on the lips, I wasn't sure if it had actually happened. I kept my eyes closed, even after I was sure he had gone, just to remember that kiss. When I finally opened my eyes they were streaming rivers.

I managed to get dressed and decided I shouldn't phase just in case someone would catch my thoughts.

I headed home trying to make sure none of my tears were visible anymore.

When I reached my house, a dark figure stood in front of it. There were no cars in the driveway so I assumed mom and Seth had stayed at Charlie's for the night.

As I got closer I realized the figure was Sam. I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want, Sam?"

He gave me an odd look."You were with him, weren't you?"

"I don't think that's any of your business-"

"I can smell him all over you", he said as if I hadn't said anything a moment ago. I sighed. I felt drained.

"Well I'm gonna go inside but feel free to bitch out here by yourself", I stormed inside and closed the door.

He clearly didn't get the hint. My door slammed open behind me.

"What the hell, Sam?"

"Just tell me why, Leah…why him, our enemy?

"Last I checked, you were the one that dumped me so you could go fuck my cousin. Did you think I would fawn over you forever?" I shot back.

"You imprinted, Leah. So, you know as well as I do how hard it is to fight off." I did know but it didn't mean that excuse didn't piss me off every time I heard it.

"You didn't want to fight it!"

"I tried as hard as I could!"

"Well it wasn't hard enough."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Why do you even care?!"

Silence filled the room and before I knew it his lips were on mine and his hands were all over me. His tongue dominated mine and I felt the bulge in his pants press against my stomach. He lifted my legs to wrap around his waist and grabbed my ass so I could grind against him. This was beyond wrong and I think we both may have realized this at the same time.

I cleared my head enough to push him away, with some effort. "Sam….I think you should go." He looked at me with hunger still in his eyes.

"Why? So you can go back to that bloodsucker? Do you honestly think he wants you?" he said with a malicious grin.

"Sam, fuck off and get the _hell _out of my house."

"Or did he leave you, that why you're not with him right now? He finally got tired of you?" I felt myself shaking and took a deep breath to stop myself from phasing. My mom wouldn't like it very much if she came home and her kitchen was destroyed.

"I heard you in the clearing. You're pathetic. Nothing but a bitter bitch".

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand connected with his face. He stood shocked for a moment but made no move toward me. I didn't feel bad.

"Get the fuck out of my house, Sam. Now!"

"Gladly", he said with a cocky grin before he broke out into a jog and disappeared.

He was right, I was pathetic. My eyes stung but I had run out of tears. I was done crying. The phone's shrill ring broke the silence in the air. I didn't pick up but I payed a little more attention when I recognized the voice as Emmett's.

"_Hey, She-Wolf. Just wanted to let you know, we found Carlisle. Came home in one piece. Thanks for the help. Bye."_

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth without me knowing. At least I knew he hadn't gone on some suicide mission after he had left me in the clearing.

I headed upstairs. I knew what I had to do. I grabbed the largest suitcase I could find and began packing. I only packed a few clothing items, mostly cutoff shorts and tank tops, deciding I'd probably be in wolf form the majority of the time anyway.

I grabbed the cell phone I had gotten from the Cullens, all the money in my stash and finally decided I was ready.

I left a note for mom and Seth so they wouldn't freak out. I knew Seth would probably tell Jacob and the rest of the pack, so I made sure to write in the note that if they came looking for me I'd castrate them.

I took one last look at the kitchen before grabbing my suitcase and heading out. I stuffed it into my truck and started the engine. Without a glance back I drove off, until the house was no longer in view. I knew I wouldn't be coming back. I had lost the one thing worth coming back for.

**Hope you guys liked that. No, this is not the last chapter. Next chapter you will be very surprised. I know this was a very M rated chapter so I hope I did that justice. Please review and stay tuned for the next chapter! **** xoxo**


	6. Confessions

**Hey, I decided to do another chapter today since I kept you guys waiting so long before! After this chapter I'm going to try to update every weekend. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this one. Carlisle's not in this chapter as much. Leah needs some time off. Also there's a lot of pack stuff in here so if you are confused, the thoughts are in italics. This is mostly a filler chapter too, so it's a little shorter than the last one. Kay so I'll shut up now. Review please! Bye xoxox**

I rolled out of bed and slipped on a pair of cutoffs. It had been exactly 3 weeks since I'd left the reservation and _him_ behind and somehow I'd managed to go through all of my stash money, broken my cell phone, and not to mention my current living conditions were less than exceptional.

After I left, I had found some rundown hotel to stay in. I had planned on going a little farther away to ensure that the pack didn't find me (no doubt, they'd been looking) but I just couldn't find the energy. The hotel had mold lining the walls and reeked of sweat and dirty laundry. I didn't even have it in me to care. After a while, I guess I just got used to it. There was a man living above me that seemed to be nocturnal. He made as much noise as possible at night. On more than one occasion, I'd had to chew him out about his loud raucous.

I had been living off of greasy, fast food for the last 3 weeks, too. My stomach longed for my mom's home cooking. I had left my room only a few times, spending the first week crying my eyes out until I had no tears left and all I could do is lay numb.

And the pain. The pain was…..it felt like a hole had been ripped out of my chest. _Literally._ It was worse than anything I had every felt. Even after the pain dulled down, there was an aching in my chest, a constant tugging that wouldn't let me forget. I was here, but my heart was where _he_ was.

Walking to my closet, I pulled out my wallet before remembering I had used the last of it the night before. I cursed, knowing what I'd have to do for food. Jacob had taught me how to hunt in wolf form a while ago and it was definitely not pleasant. I had no choice, but if anyone was phased while I was I'd gave to talk to them and no doubt they'd find out where I was somehow.

I pulled on my shoes and made sure to lock the door behind me as I exited the room. I had to walk a while to find a good cover of trees before I phased and shook out my fur. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard nothing but silence in my head. Working as quickly as possible I brought my nose into the air. There were three bucks somewhere close by. I took off quietly and found two of them, the parents most likely, drinking at a pond and the other one grazing near a tree. I took down the smallest as quick as possible and cleared my mind as I fed on him. No time to think about how disgusting it was.

By the time I had finished, the other two had fled, and I had decided that that was enough raw animal for one day anyways. I headed back to the tree I had laid my change of clothes on.

_Assholes, they always do this shit….so tired of it…._

My step halted when I heard someone else's thoughts enter my mind. Maybe if I was really quiet….

_Leah?...Leah is that you?_

I sighed. _Yeah, Seth. It's me._

I could hear his howl all the way from where I was. Dammit. This was what I was trying to avoid.

_Oh my god, Leah. Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!_

_Seth, I told you guys not to come looking for me!_

_I know but….I missed you._

_I'm sorry, Seth. I missed you too. _His face stretched into a wolfy grin.

_Good, so you're not mad? Because I kind of….sort of….just told the pack that I'm talking to you right now and they're going to phase any second , _he rambled out. I took a second to calm down before I very sweetly answered, _Seth, would you mind telling me where you are so I can KILL YOU!_

_But you said you weren't mad, _guilt clouding his thoughts. Just before I could answer, three more thoughts entered my head.

_Leah!_

_We missed you, Leah!_

_What the hell, Leah?!, _I definitely recognized that one as Jacob's.

_Nice to see you too, guys, _I thought, feigning ignorance.

_Leah, we looked everywhere!_

_Are you still planning on castrating us or…._

_Sorry about this, Leah…., _that was Seth this time. I made sure to let him know I wasn't mad anymore.

_Enough, Guys. Embry, Quil, Seth, phase back so we can talk, _Jacob thought with his Alpha tone. I rolled my eyes but was secretly grateful for it. Jacob took no time in tearing into my ass. _Leah, why the hell would you leave the reservation? What about your mom or your brother, _Seth whimpered, _your pack?...What about Carlisle? Did you forget about him too?_

_Well, if you are done I'll tell you exactly why I left, _I growled letting him know to shut up,_ It wasn't about the reservation. I actually _like_ being in this pack. And mom and Seth know I love them. But I had to get away from everyone for a while. Is that okay with you, Most High Alpha?_

Jacob rolled his eyes at that. I couldn't see him but I imagine that looked pretty comical. _Look, Leah, no one is saying that you shouldn't have time to yourself. But next time at least tell us. And if it makes you any easier on Seth, we won't look for you._

I considered if Jacob was being truthful before saying, _Thanks. That means a lot, _I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to know, _You've been to the Cullen's house right?...Has he?..._

_Carlisle…honestly, he's taking it pretty hard. He looks like Edward when he thought he was losing Bella. I've never seen him like this. And to top it off, Carlisle and Esme's divorce was finalized three days after you left. She's moved out. It's so quiet at the Cullen's now. They're like zombies. _I felt it again, that aching in my chest. It was _my_ fault. I had actually broken up their family with my selfishness.

_Leah, this is _not_ your fault. Esme found her true mate. You couldn't have changed that, _he thought, softly. I had almost forgotten he could hear my thoughts.

_You don't understand, Jacob. It _is_ my fault. Before I left….. _I hesitated, not sure if I could tell him everything that had happened. Jacob had been there for me even before he had actually let me into his pack. I trusted him. He stayed quiet during my little inner battle.

_I guess I'll just _show_ you, rather than tell you, _I decided. And that's what I did. I showed him finding Carlisle in the clearing, looking so heartbroken. I felt Jacob cringe as I skipped over the more intimate parts of my finding Carlisle. But I did show him the emptiness I saw in Carlisle's eyes and how I had realized that I was nothing but the rebound. I showed him everything, all the way to Sam storming out after our argument.

I heard Jacob sigh in my head. _Leah, I'm sorry. I always that imprinting was easier than this. You've had it harder than anybody in the pack and we haven't made it any easier. Just, promise me something. I know what Carlisle did was wrong and don't worry I'll definitely be tearing Sam a new ass but just promise me you'll come back. I'm not asking immediately but at some point. If not for the pack, than for Carlisle. You deserve love more than anyone I know._

_I promise, I will. And tell my mom I love her, will you? _

_Will do. I hope to see you soon, Leah._

_Later, Jacob. Oh and Jake?….we have got to stop having these mushy talks, alright?,_ I teased, grinning.

Jacob barked a laugh. _I thought you'd never ask, _he said as his voice faded out. The deafening silence rung in my ears and I realized I missed them more than I wanted to admit.

I finally phased back and thought about what Jacob and I had talked about while I pulled on my clothes. I had promised I would come back, and I planned on keeping that promise. But I knew I wasn't ready just yet. The pain had become nearly bearable, I could get a job for money, and the hunting thing wasn't all that bad. I wasn't sure of anything yet, but I knew I still had some things to think over before I went back to the reservation. Back to _him_. And as much as I hated to admit it, there was no doubt in my mind that I'd go back to him. He had become a part of me.

**So there you have it! I hope you guys liked that one. It was a little shorter than the others. Again, It was mostly just a filler chapter. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks oxoxo**


	7. Left Behind

Hello, guys! I have yet another chapter! This is Carlisle's POV, starting from when he finds out Esme isn't his true mate! I will most likely have the chapter after this Carlisle's POV too. I hope you enjoy it. Also this chapter explains the whole Nahuel and Esme thing and it might not be in tune completely with the original Twilight Saga but I hope you like it anyway. Remember to review. Feedback makes me smile! xoxox

I leaned against a tree, wiping my mouth clean as I watched her finish. She was so graceful. I knew the mountain lion was no match for her but it still didn't stop me from worrying. I breathed a sigh of relief as she softly landed on its back and took it down in the same second. She finished draining him before walking towards me.

I nearly laughed out loud when I saw she still had a smudge of blood on her cheek.

"What's so funny?" she said, bumping me with her hip.

"Nothing, love. You just….have a little…", I couldn't contain my laugh any longer and my loud laughter boomed through the trees, scaring the birds away.

"Carlisle", she said in a playfully angry tone.

"I'm sorry, Esme", I'll get it for you", I kissed her on the cheek, simultaneously licking the remaining blood from her face.

"Delicious," I said, licking my lips. She rolled her eyes before giggling at me and starting home. I followed behind, chuckling at her swaying hips.

We reached the large house and found Alice waiting for us in the driveway.

"Where have you two been? I've been trying to call you two for the last hour…"

"Alice, please calm down." She made a show of taking a deep breath and then started again.

"There's….there's someone her for you….."

"Well let's go greet out guest", I said, confused why that was such a problem. We often got visits from other vampires who wanted to change to our lifestyle. I began to walk inside. I had just reached the door when Alice stopped me.

"No, Carlisle! You don't understand", she said trying to stop me.

We both stopped when the door opened to reveal a man I recognized as Nahuel.

"Nahuel, nice to see you again", I said, shaking his hand. He moved aside and we all walked to the foyer to sit.

"Can I get you anything?" Esme said, mostly to be polite. Nahuel declined and Esme returned taking a seat beside me.

"So, what brings you to our home, Nahuel?" He looked slightly uncomfortable. He opened his mouth to reply and closed it again.

"I think it'd be best if Alice explained", he finally said. Alice nodded.

"A few minutes after you and Esme went to hunt, I had a vision. It was of Esme and Nahuel. They were…..they were kissing. And then Nahuel showed up not too long after my vision and said that he needed to see Esme. It turns out male half-vampires are able to imprint just like werewolves can." I digested this information but I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My arm moved around Esme a little tighter.

"So what exactly are you saying?" Esme asked, a little worry coloring her voice. No doubt she knew what was coming. My eyes hadn't moved from Alice's.

"I'm saying…..Nahuel is your true mate, Esme." We all sat silent for a while before Nahuel grew impatient and moved toward Esme. My arm moved to block them and I couldn't contain the growl that left my mouth, even surprising me.

He held up his hands as if in surrender. "I did not come here to break up what you and Esme have, but how about we allow Esme to choose her fate", he said, smiling. I loosened my grip on Esme trying to extract my tight grip on her to which Esme replaced my arm around her.

"Of course I choose Carlisle. He's my husband, Nahuel! You've come to be a great ally of this family, Nahuel, but nothing more than that. I have to ask you to leave", Esme said with a tone to her voice that was unusual to hear from her.

"I understand, Esme. I will leave now, but just know, I will wait for you", he said, and with that he walked out the front door, giving Esme one last look. We stood there for a moment not sure what to say before Alice dragged Esme off to some shopping and I went up to my office.

After that day, things were good again. Well, as far as Esme knew. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had made a large mistake. About what? I had no idea. My head kept going back to the same thing, _Maybe it was Leah and I all along….._ Still, in front of my children I didn't show this and I made sure none of them knew what went on that day. But most importantly, I made sure to not tell Leah about what had transpired that day. I knew if I did then she would get hurt all over again.

So I pretended. I pretended that every day that following week, I hadn't wondered what it would've been like if it really was Leah and I together. I pretended I didn't notice Alice having frequent visions and her quickly trying to hide them.

When Leah came around, I pretended everything was fine. I knew she could sense something was wrong but she respected my space.

And eventually, when Esme began leaving every night, I pretended I didn't notice that either. I knew where she was, of course, but I couldn't bring myself to call her out about. Besides, I had hurt with Leah too many times to count. Maybe this was just karma, maybe fate. I would never forget the hurt I saw on her face when she walked in on Leah and me kissing.

Eventually I stopped hunting, just allowing the purple circles around my eyes to grow deeper and deeper. The one person I didn't pretend with was Leah, although she was just happy to be around me. Edward suspected and of course Alice knew but everyone else had been left in the dark as to why I was acting as such. Gradually, I came to not even notice when Esme left at night. I would kiss her goodbye and send her off, knowing exactly where she'd be, doing God knows what. But I let her go. I had become a shell of a man.

Then one day, it became particularly hard to keep my passiveness towards Esme's infidelities at bay. I walked down the stairs, a large accomplishment for me, only to see Nahuel with his arm around Esme. I knew what had been going on but it hurt even more having my suspicions confirmed.

"Esme, what's -",I started to say. I knew this was it. This was the moment when it would all come out. But I wasn't ready. I wasn't done pretending we were still…..us.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry but…", Esme said guiltily. Nahuel's arm tightened around her shoulders as if protecting her. I wondered if I really looked so dangerous or if he just wanted to show his possession of her. I calmed myself. There was no point in fighting now. I knew it had been coming.

"It's alright, Esme. If he makes you happy, them I'm happy", I said trying to fake a smile but even to my own ears I sounded dejected.

I nodded to Nahuel and without revealing anything to Edward other than that I wanted to be alone, I ran at top speed out of the door.

I ran for a while in circles, just enjoying the calming breeze in my hair. Eventually I reached a very familiar place. Our meadow. Esme and I's. It had once had beautiful flowers coloring the floor and it always seemed to give Esme and I a sense of peace…but even that too had died. Now there were no flowers, only browned grass, almost as if the meadow knew of my and Esme's troubles.

I found a single tree stump seated at the end of the hill and took a seat on it where my mind began to stray to Leah. I had broken her heart over and over and maybe she had been right all along. But I had to accept the fact that I was still in love Esme. We had been together for over a century.

My head fell into my hands. My shoulders tensed when I heard footprints moving towards the clearing rapidly. I sniffed the air for a moment and relaxed when I realized who it was. They tensed again when I realized why she was here. She must have dropped by the house and saw Esme and Nahuel. She knew.

I greeted her and watched her take a seat beside me, her hair was windblown but she still looked beautiful.

"What's going on?" she asked.

I never seems to be able to pretend with her so I poured out everything and she listened closely without interrupt. When I was done she held me for a moment.

I looked up and caught her watching me in that way only she could. She was beautiful. My hand instinctively reached up to brush away a strand of her from her face.

Before I knew it I was kissing her, my hands roaming over her body. I felt a bit of hesitance from her and pulled back to make sure this was okay. She nodded and that was all the confirmation I needed. We continued kissing and in a matter of seconds we were both nude. And yet somehow my mind still strayed to Esme. What she would think, how she would feel but then I remembered that she wouldn't care. I brought my mind back to the present. Leah was writhing and panting beneath me and I left feather light kisses on her body, breathing her in. After, we laid without moving and finally the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. Not because I regretted that we had made love, but because I knew I could never love Leah the way she deserved if Esme still held part of my heart. Whatever this was, it had to end before I hurt her anymore.

She suspected something was wrong and before I could tell her exactly why she and I could be no more, a stream of curses left her mouth.

After she finally gave me a chance to explain my piece, I watched the hurt slowly spread across her face. She grabbed her clothes from the clearing floor. At least now I would no longer have to see her hurt. I had done enough of that already. I just hoped I hadn't done more harm than good.

I gave her one last tender kiss before I walked from the clearing without looking back, while my heart lay behind where Leah stood, watching me go.

And when Seth and Jacob came running into my office, I knew it was about Leah. Whatever it was, it wasn't good and there was no doubt in my mind it was my fault.

Still, I wasn't prepared for the words that left Seth's mouth. With stiff arms, I took the letter he offered me and read it slowly. She was gone and had taken my heart with her.

I realized, leaving Leah gave neither of us any sense of relief, at all. In fact, I was worse than I had been when Esme started seeing Nahuel. So back into my shell I went. I couldn't sleep so I spent the time worrying about Leah, if she was okay. On several occasions, the other members of my family would try to cheer me up. Emmett would make tactless jokes making fun of Nahuel which didn't do much but remind me of why I sat here alone anyway. Edward and Bella convinced me to play with Renesmee a few times, and even then my heart really wasn't into it. Even Jasper and Alice tried to come talk to me and when it didn't work, Jasper offered to at least ease the pain with his gift.

But after all these failed attempts, it was Rosalie who gave me the wakeup call I needed. She busted into my office, nearly taking off the door and yelled at me for a good 10 minutes about my selfishness and how the family felt as though they'd lost a father. Rosalie had never been one for being good at showing her emotions in a healthy way. I figured this was her way of showing she cared. Of course, her speech didn't completely help me but I at least had gotten a little better at going through the motions. It had even begun to feel normal.

I had started to see Esme at the house less and less, too. I was not surprised when she showed up waving divorce papers. I numbly signed them. But I couldn't even find it in me to feel upset about it. She was happy. She gave me a soft kiss before walking out of the room. I watched her go and I made sure to hold onto that kiss. But eventually, after so long, even that had left me too.

**There's another chapter! I planned on updating a lot sooner but I've been busy so at least I got it done! Review and let me know what you think! Next chapter will also be in Carlisle's POV and you guys will get to see what happens with the pack after Leah left! Xoxo**


	8. Make it Right

**Hey, guys! I'm back with another chapter in Carlisle's POV. I don't want to spoil anything but this'll show what happens between Jacob and Sam. And also this chapter is really, really short just to let you know. Also, random but I think it's necessary…I went to go see Breaking Dawn part 2! It was AMAZING! If anyone hasn't seen it, please go see it. Anyways, I'll stop talking now and let you read. Enjoy!**

It had been exactly three weeks since she had left me. Three weeks since I had hunted. Three weeks since…..anything. I had sat, hauled up in my office, spending my time worrying about Leah. She could've been anywhere and I found myself, often, reading her note over and over again, hoping she had left some kind of clues. Anything. But all that was there was her angry hand writing as she prepared to leave me.

"Where is she?! You talked to her! Where is she?" I heard a booming voice interrupt my thoughts. I recognized this as Sam's voice. I really wanted to stay in my office but I knew as the head of the family, this was my job to handle. I swiftly moved to the stairs when I realized what Sam had said.

"Back off, Sam", Jacob said, in a warning tone. I reached Jacob just as Sam looked like he was ready to pounce. They both were shaking. I noticed Bella, Renesmee, and Alice standing behind with worried expressions.

"Jake, please calm down," I said, placing a hopefully calming hand on his shoulder.

"And you!-", Sam exclaimed, pointing at me", This is all your fault! She would've never left had you bloodsuckers left her alone!" I noticed his shaking getting worse. He was getting ready to phase but I refused to let this get out of hand. This would just create problems between the two packs and the alliance.

"Sam, I'm sorry that-," I didn't even get through with my sentence before Sam had phased and grabbed my arm in his teeth, causing us both to tumble out of the door and closer to the forest. Jacob phased not long after and he tackled Sam, forcing him to let go of me. They bared their teeth at each other, I assume having a conversation through their thoughts before both disappeared behind the trees.

I stood, worried for Jacob's safety for a moment, before they both returned in their human form. I noticed Bella watching from the window with a worried expression. I mouthed for her to get Emmett and Edward out here just in case something happened. She nodded and a few seconds later they appeared out the door. Meanwhile, Sam and Jacob had begun to circle each other as if in a wrestling match.

"Alright, Sam. You ready to fight me like a man," Jacob said, with a taunting grin.

"It's been a while since I've seen a fight around here. This should be good," Emmett said behind me, earning him a glare.

"Why do you even care?" Sam yelled, bringing me back to the present.

"She's a part of my pack, Sam! And you're married!"

"Really? Or were you hoping you could get in Leah's pants like Carlisle did!" My mouth hung open in shock. The deafening silence was almost too loud to bear. I hung my head before watching in horror as they pounced on each other. I knew this was a pack issue and there wasn't much we could do but I didn't want to see either of them hurt. They rolled off into the forest and disappeared from sight. Sam's comment had not gone unnoticed.

"Carlisle?" Emmett said with his eyebrows furrowed", Is that true?" I took an unnecessary breath before looking back at them.

"Yes. I didn't mean for it to happen," I answered not looking them in the eye. Graciously, they let the matter drop. From where we stood, we could hear growling and tearing. They'd definitely come back with some bruises after a few moments of silence, Jacob and Sam returned. Jacob had blood dripping down the side of his head and Sam's nose looked like it was in bad shape, hanging off to one side. He was also limping.

I shook my head at them. "Why don't you two get stitched up?" I made sure to look at Sam to let him know the offer was for him as well. Sam glared at me before phasing back into his wolf form. He half ran, half limped through the trees letting out a large howl on the way.

I turned to Jacob. "Nah, I'm good Carlisle. It'll heal pretty soon."

"Are you sure? There could be internal bleeding or a concussion….", I said worriedly but trailed off when I realized he had already healed. The werewolf healing gene would never get old.

"I should probably go back to the rez. See if Seth is alright", Jacob said before loping back to the trees.

"Wait, Jacob!" I called, hurriedly, "You…you talked to her?" All of the fighting had nearly distracted me from what I had heard. He had _talked_ to her.

Jacob's expression changed to one I couldn't read. "Yeah….I did. But, Carlisle. She's not ready to come home yet…." I understood what he was saying. She wasn't ready to come back to _me. _

I asked the question I had been dreading for a while. "Do you think she will ever be ready to come back?" He walked back towards me and patted me on the shoulder.

"She will be. I promise you, we'll get her back here", he said. I gave him a sad smile before he loped off back towards the trees and phased, turning back to me for a second to give me a grin which looked very funny in his wolf form. I chuckled before turning back towards the house with Edward and Emmett in tow.

My thoughts strayed to Leah. I was happy to know that she was safe but that didn't mean she would ever forgive me. I had to make things right. I wasn't sure how but I had to do it somehow.

When we got inside, I asked for Bella to shield my thoughts before telling everyone I was going hunting, not missing Edward's confused look.

Making sure to close the door behind me, I swiftly made my way towards the trees. I knew my plan may not work but I wouldn't give up. I ran through the trees with a new drive. I had to find her and make things right. I wouldn't stop until I did.

In that moment, I realized something.

Somehow, through all the chaos, the hurt, the mistakes….I had fallen for Leah Clearwater.

**So there you have it! That's what's been going on while Leah was gone. Next chapter will be back to Leah's POV again. Please review! Xoxo **


	9. A Fool For You

**Hey, guys. I know it has been a while but I am back with another chapter. We are back in Leah's POV now and there is a bit of rated R material in this one so that's just a warning for anyone who doesn't like that kind of stuff! Please review and I hope you enjoy it! **** xoxo**

After my talk with Jacob, I had a new drive. Almost like a fresh start. I realized that I had changed so much from before when I hadn't imprinted on Carlisle. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing but with all the chaos going on with Carlisle and I, I had lost so much of myself. I'm not talking about the bitter, angry girl who still fawned over Sam. But the outspoken girl who protected her little brother with her life and wouldn't take anyone's crap. I had lost that girl and replaced her with an emotional wreck who didn't know what she wanted. I figured that's who I was looking for out here. And I couldn't go back to him until I found her.

The ding of the timer on the toaster brought me back to present. I filled my plate with the food I had prepared until it was overflowing and sat down with my newspaper laid out to the page showing job openings. I scarfed my food down quickly so I could focus on the task at hand. I read carefully and was disappointed to find that the only job openings here were for a waitressing job and a few more jobs that were too close to home. I thought for a second before picking up the phone and dialing the number in bolded letters on the newspaper.

"Hello." A deep voice answered the phone.

"Um, yeah. I'm calling about the job opening. I think I may be interested", I said.

"Really. You have any experience?"

"As a waitress?" I mentally slapped myself at my stupid question. What else would he be talking about? "Uh, no I don't. But I really need the money and how hard could it possibly be?"

He hesitated for a moment on the other end and all I could hear was his labored breathing. "Alright. I like you. Got a pit of sass to ya'."

"I got the job?" I said, smiling a bit. No it probably wasn't the best job but at least it was something.

"Yeah. You start tomorrow but the boss will probably want to meet you first. Can you be here sometime around 1?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Then you got it. And what's your name again?"

"Leah Clearwater."

"Alright. See you tomorrow, Leah Clearwater."

"Thanks. Bye". I heard the click on the other end before hanging up myself. I glanced at the clock and jumped at how much time had passed. It was 11:00 already and I wasn't even sure if I had anything to wear. I hustled up the stairs and rummaged through the small hotel closet and found a pair of black pants and a navy blue shirt, probably the only dressy shirt I had.

I cursed when I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and realized that I had no makeup. I decided to just go without and instead mussed my hair with a bit of water and put on a bit of lip gloss, which only gave me a semblance of a human being. I had really let myself go this past month. I didn't have any time to dwell on that as I glanced at the clock and read the time to be nearly 12:00.

I checked myself over one last time in the mirror before grabbing my car keys from the where it sat on my dresser.

It didn't take me long to get there and I ended up getting there 15 minutes early. During this time, I have myself a bit of a pep talk.

"Leah. You go this. It's a waitressing job, nothing too bad. You're doing the right thing by getting a job." I took one last breath and got out the car. I realized how silly I might have looked to any outsider. I could see the swirl of my breath in the air and realized that to anyone else it probably looked odd that I wore no coat. I had forgotten that I still needed to keep up the façade.

From outside the building, I could hear the loud sound of pounding music. I walked inside and toward the front counter where a lady with dark hair stood.

"Hi, I'm looking for….." I mentally kicked myself. I had forgotten to ask for the man's name.

"I'm sorry. I'm Leah Clearwater and I-"

"Oh, yes. Leah Clearwater? The boss is waiting for you just over there", she directed me and gave me a friendly smile. I thanked her before walking in the direction she had pointed out to me. I was surprised to find a very young, handsome looking man smiling at me. He was a very large muscular man but his dimples softened his face significantly. Emmett's face popped into my head and for a second I missed home before I shook it off and greeted the man.

"I'm Leah Clearwater. Are you the boss?" I seemed a bit young to me but I wasn't complaining. He smiled again and a dimple popped out of his left cheek.

"No, Leah Clearwater, I'm not. I'm his son but he asked for me to meet with you because he's busy," he said, still with that smile. I tried to smile back but something told me mine wouldn't be nearly as dazzling as his.

"Alright. So…what do you want to know?"

"Shhh", he said, placing his finger on my lips before circling me with a glint in his eye I didn't like. I smacked his hand away before glaring at him.

"Do you do this to all your new workers?" I asked harshly, drawing a few attention from a few guys seated at a table nearest to us.

"Only the ones who have potential", his smile seemed a little less charming now.

"Potential? What kind of waitressing job is this exactly?" I asked. The ad in the newspaper had made it seem like it was _just_ waitressing. But as I took in my surroundings I realized it was far from it. The loud music was beginning to get annoying and there were men leering at the waitresses who were all dressed in very skimpy clothing, nothing like what I would ever be caught wearing. My confusion dissolved into anger and I felt myself begin to shake a bit.

"What the hell is this?" My hand swung at him on its own accord.

He stopped it between his large hand and squeezed. "Listen, you little brat. We're offering you an opportunity here. So if you want this job I suggest you lose the attitude….", and giving me one last look over added", and the church pants. Got it?"

We both straightened up when a man appeared behind him who was clearly of some type of authority. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Ah, so I see you've met my son, Jason", he said before grabbing my still shaking hand and kissing it", My name is Joe and my are you a lovely one. We're running a bit low on workers tonight so I was hoping you'd like to start tonight instead. So tell me Jason, what do you think?" That fact that they were talking as if I wasn't there pissed me off even further but I knew I needed the money.

Jason stopped for a moment before saying "I think she would be a lovely addition", I rolled my eyes at him before turning back to the boss.

"Alright. So Jason will walk you through the basics but it's not that complicated, really. Just be on your best behavior and don't get _too _drunk", he said, winking at me and walking off leaving Jason and I alone.

"I doubt you have any other clothes so that will have to do. Follow me", he said stalking off. I chose not to mention that I didn't plan on wearing those revealing outfits _ever _and instead followed him to the bar.

"Tonight, you'll just be serving drinks. Rowen will show you how to make the most common drinks but other than that you should be able to catch on fairly quickly. Any questions?"

"Are you always this much of an asshole?" I said with my sweetest smile. I knew I should probably try to get in good with the boss's son but he had royally pissed me off.

"You little-"

"Hey, Jason. I think your dad was asking for you", a girly voice cut in. He glared at me for another few moments before deciding it wasn't worth it and stormed off.

The girl giggled and held out her hand to me to which I shook. "Hey, my name's Rowen. You're Leah Clearwater, right?"

"Yeah. How'd you know that?" I eyed her suspiciously.

"The boss just got through bragging to the guys over there about a hot new addition that was sure to bring him in a few more customers." I scoffed in disgust before shaking my head.

"I swear if I didn't need this money…"

"Trust me, working at the bar is not that bad. Not compared to flaunting yourself in front of those leering men like _they_ have to." Maybe, but it still didn't feel right.

We got back on track and she showed me a few of the basic drinks and let me try myself. Turns out I'm a natural. After about an hour of working, I noticed a man walk in with his hood up and his head down. He sat at a booth by himself and ordered nothing. Something seemed familiar but I thought nothing of it and got back to work. The boss passed several times and I considered asking him how long exactly he needed me here. I didn't have anything better to do but the smell of alcohol and horny men was starting to irritate me.

"Need a break?" Rowen asked. I nodded and thanked her before heading to the bathroom.

I did my business before exiting the bathroom. Suddenly, a pair of rough hands pushed me back in. I growled into whoever's hand it was, almost phasing before I realized where I was. I was amidst a bunch of humans and if they saw a giant gray wolf tearing someone to shreds they'd for sure find out our secret.

"Leah Clearwater." I recognized that voice even though it was heavily slurred. Jason.

"Get your fucking hands off of me," my voice low and deadly. He ignored me and I felt his hands travel down my chest. This was one of those times where being a werewolf was not helping me. Jason was clearly much stronger than me. Yes, I was strong , it came with being a wolf, but everyone else in the pack had always been stronger than me, I suppose because I was the only female. Instead I got the speed. I mentally kicked myself for my unfortunate luck. And to top it off I was shaking so much I thought I was nearly about to explode right here. I tried to take a few calming breaths but his hands were roaming in places I had saved only for one man who was currently not here with me right now.

He removed his hands and I took this moment to elbow him in his stomach, causing him to double over and giving me my opportunity to escape. I had made it halfway to the door before he got up again and slammed my head into the ground, which didn't do much with my healing power except piss me off. He tried to rip my shirt but with him being drunk, he missed and I punched him in his crotch, hoping he wouldn't get up again. Sadly, I was wrong.

"You little bitch", he hissed at me, grabbing me by my hair. He had gotten the upper hand and I felt myself struggle under his hard grip. He put all his body weight on me making it impossible for me to struggle any longer and his hand over my mouth to prevent any sounds from escaping my mouth. His hand that was still free reached within my pants and I felt him paw me over my underwear before moving them aside and tracing a circle around my clit with his thumb.

"You like that, my little whore, don't you?" he whispered in my ear. I flinched as I felt him enter my center and begin to pump his fingers inside of me. I squirmed, trying to remove him from myself but all that did was allow him deeper entrance. He chuckled at my weakness. His lips met mine and I leaned my head away from his as far as it would go. He gave up and instead lowered his head to my chest while continuing his ministrations below. His thumb rubbed my clit and I felt my core begin to throb on its own accord.

Just as I felt a tear collect in the corner of my eye, I heard the door slam open and in a matter of seconds Jason had been removed from on top of me. I quickly scrambled up and watched in horror as the two men fought. I realized that the hooded man was actually the person I had seen outside a while ago, who had ordered nothing. When the man had finally let Jason go, he was a bloody mess. The man was left breathing heavily with his head still bowed.

"Thank you", I whispered. I tried to get a better glimpse of his face, for again I had that feeling of familiarity within me.

"Don't thank me. Are you alright?" He asked, softly with his head still facing the floor. I tried to cover my gasp but I recognized that voice. I approached him slowly. He must have felt me approaching me because he quickly turned his back to me. I stopped. Maybe I had been mistaken.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks to you. Is there anything I can do to repay you?" I asked, hoping to hear him speak again. Even if it wasn't _him_, I had to know.

"Just stay safe", he said, before hurriedly exiting the bathroom and leaving me confused. Now I was sure that I recognized his voice. I stood in the bathroom for a second before exiting and storming towards where I saw the boss talking to a group of men. I threw my apron at him.

"I quit!"

"Why? You just started, sweetheart," he said, sounding genuinely downtrodden.

I noticed Jason stumbling towards him with a bloody face before replying "Why don't you ask your son?"

I stormed past them and waved off Rowen's concerned face before leaving the place behind.

On the drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. My skin crawled every time I thought about Jason's rough hands touching me. More than that, I had never been more vulnerable in my entire life. I couldn't phase, I couldn't move, and I wasn't even strong enough to fight back. And yet strangely I thought, more than anything, about the man who had saved me. Maybe he wasn't as much of a stranger as I had thought. I recognized his voice and now that I thought about it, his scent too seemed familiar.

By the time I had gotten home, I had a headache, my thoughts infested with the events of tonight, and my heart filled with a newfound hope that maybe it really was _him_. However, I was very disappointed when I walked in to find nothing but an empty rundown apartment and reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I sighed before dragging myself towards the showers to wash the remnants of the night off my body.

Half an hour passed before I finally stepped out of the shower, my skin raw but not feeling nearly clean enough.

I combed through my hair as I watched myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes told me of how little sleep I had gotten lately. I had fooled myself and everyone else into thinking that leaving La Push was what I needed to get myself back on track and to take some time from Carlisle but it hadn't seemed to do much of anything but open my eyes to how much I really needed not just my imprint but my pack as well. They were my family and I had just up and left them, telling myself that it was what was best.

The sound of a soft knock on my door tore me out of my deep thoughts and I called out to them that I would be just a moment before going to my closet to pull on a pair of sweats and a tank top. By the time I reached the door the knocking had become a lot more urgent and I decided that whoever was on the other side of the door, better have a damn good reason for being here.

"I said I would be just a min-"My voice faltered and I stood shocked for a moment at the sight in front of me.

His golden hair was still as perfect as I remembered it to be and his golden eyes smoldered even in the hotel's terrible lighting. He wore that black hoodie that I remembered from the club and still managed to make it look good. He, in every meaning of the word, was beautiful.

We watched each other for a moment, taking each other in. I heard his deep intake of breath before hee met my eyes.

"Leah." He breathed and I fell for him all over again.

**And there we have it! I know it has been a long time since my last update which is why I will be uploading another chapter either today or tomorrow as a little apology to all the people who have been following my story. I genuinely appreciate you guys and thanks for the reviews! Xoxo **


	10. Forgiveness

**Hey, guys. I know that this is a little late so sorry! I think this story is close to the end, there'll probably one or two more chapters after this one. Also there is quite a bit of R rated material in this one! Anywho I hope you enjoy and please continue reviewing! **

In just a matter of a few seconds, a vast range of emotions overcame me. Joy, worry, guilt, sadness…..and even love. My heart banged rapidly against my chest as if it wanted out until it finally settled into butterflies within my stomach. My head wanted to be angry with him but my heart wanted me to throw myself in his arms. But the moment passed and to my surprise, anger out shadowed all other emotions. Before my brain could register what my hand had already decided, I had slammed the door in his face, leaving him with not so much as a goodbye.

I instantly felt a pang of regret for my rash decision and I considered reopening the door to see if he was still there but decided he probably hadn't hung around. My remorse was short lived as another wave of anger passed through me and I found myself pacing through my small living room. Questions bounced around my brain and I realized maybe I hadn't been in the right by not hearing him out.

What was he doing here? How had he found me? Did anyone else know where I was?

The familiar ache in my chest caught me by surprise because I had not felt it for a while. Or at least I had learned to ignore it. It seemed that with Carlisle's absence the imprint had grown stronger. I felt my eyes sting for a moment before tears trailed down my cheeks. I had fooled myself believing that I was over him.

Whipping my tears away angrily, I found myself in my bedroom. I grabbed my only suitcase out of the closet before dragging my few clothes to it. It was a very rash decision but I had been having quite a few of those moments anyway. I didn't bother folding the clothes as I threw them into my suitcase.

As I continued packing I wondered when I had become so prone to running away from issues instead of facing them. My mind wandered to my talk with Jacob. I had promised him that I would work it out with Carlisle and come back. But I had promised myself first that I would not do so before I had found what I was looking for. Until I found _the Leah_ that I was looking for. And yet here I sat packing my suitcase when I hadn't even found her. Maybe it had been him along. Carlisle was the one who brought that person out of me. And now I had gone and ruined that too.

A swift knock brought me out of my thoughts. I begrudgingly went to answer the door and was surprised to find Carlisle standing there once again, this time with a brown bag that smelled of the greasy deliciousness called fast food. As he looked at my face, he wore a somewhat apologetic face and I realized maybe I had worked myself up over nothing.

"I brought food", he offered in a rueful yet somewhat cute way. He held up the bag as if for proof before placing his hand on my cheek. This time I did not push him away or slam the door but instead leaned into his familiar touch like it was a lifeline.

"I'm sorry. I was coming right back. I just wanted to give you some time to cool off. I knew my sudden visit would not go as smoothly as I hoped", he said trying to soothe my now flowing tears. I did not reply and decided not to tell him the true source of my tears as to not get either of our hopes up. Instead I placed my finger against his lips and leaned in to fill his full lips against mine. He stopped for a moment in surprise before returning it tenderly, eagerly. For a moment I allowed myself to drown in that guess for I had not felt what I was feeling now or much of _anything _since I had left, in a very long time. I pulled back abruptly so that I would not get pulled in again because all was not forgiven and we both had some talking to do.

He looked at me in confusion but did not complain as I pulled away.

"Carlisle. I've missed you. More than you know. But you hurt me when you left me in the clearing that day. And that doesn't just go away. You know, before I met you, I promised myself I would not love anyone ever again after Sam left me for Emily. It was the worst pain I had ever felt until I imprinted on you and then had to leave you. I'd always been the bitter bitch in the pack but when I met you I honestly thought I'd seen all that happy could be. And then I realized how much I was hurting you and your family. I figured we both would be better off if we weren't together. And I tried to move on. I did. When I came out here, I wasn't even sure what I was looking for. Love, a new life maybe…..a new me? I know I hurt you when I left and for that I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for being angry with you. You played with my heart after I was willing to give it to you and I'm not sure if I can forgive you for that just yet," I ended my speech and surprisingly I was able to stay calm throughout the entire thing although the memories of my hurt bubbled under the surface.

I watched him process what I had said with furrowed eyebrows and a deep pain set within his eyes. I knew I'd cut deep and I felt terrible for I'd lied to him just a moment ago. I had forgiven him a long time ago. The moment I saw him standing at my doorstep with those golden eyes as bright as I had remembered them, I had forgiven him.

I felt his weight as he gracefully scooted closer to me and placed his hand on the base at my neck.

"Leah", he whispered, gently, cradling my chin until my eyes met his," It was not _you_ who hurt my family or mine and Esme's marriage. It was _me. _It was my family and my marriage so I should have taken responsibility. I was a coward and I was holding on to the past and ended up letting everything slip through my fingertips. I'm sorry and I really hope you _can _forgive me, Leah-"

"But how can I? _Why should I?_ I can't keep-"

"Because I'm in love with you, Leah. That's why," he said. I looked into his eyes and found them gleaming back at me with nothing but love. Any fight I had left in me was gone with those words and I felt myself smiling from ear to ear.

"I love you, too", I felt him smile against my neck as he kissed it. I let the kisses trail lower before I decided to remove the fabric of my shirt and his kisses slowed down a bit to my dismay.

"Are you sure, Leah? I mean, what about what happened tonight" he said, with caution in his eyes. It took me a moment to come to the realization that he was referring to Jason which confirmed my suspicions that it was him who had saved me. I made a mental note to myself that I would ask him about that later. I pulled his face to look me in the eyes.

"I'm fine. I want this. I know you would never hurt me like that", he hesitated a moment so I grabbed his hands before placing them on my waist to let him know how serious I was. After he still didn't make any motion to move, I placed my hands at his belt. He shook his head at me before gently removing my hands.

"I promised myself that the next time we did this, I would do it right. Tonight, I am serving you", he said, with darkened eyes. I saw the desire in them and grinned.

He finally continued his path of kisses down my chest before removing my bra as well. His mouth came down on the now exposed flesh as his hand kneaded the other. His other hand unbuckled my belt before he paused for a second to remove both my pants and underwear in one sweeping motion. He returned his mouth back to mine and we hungrily kissed each other. I felt his cold hands leave an icy trail down my body before the landed at my throbbing center. I moaned as I felt him slip two fingers inside of my heat without removing his mouth from mine. He pumped them inside of me and moved his mouth to my breast again.

I whimpered as he removed his fingers and I looked up to find him removing his own clothes. As he removed his pants and boxers, his manhood stood at attention and I looked my lips with a mischievous glint in my eye.

I threw my head back as I felt a sudden mixture of pleasure and pain and I realized he had gently bitten my clit. My body rocked towards him a little more on its own accord. His tongue drew a circle around my center teasing me.

"Carlisle. Please," I moaned his name, embarrassingly. He chuckled and his cool breath fanned against my open center and added to my arousal. He teased me for another second before finally dipping his tongue inside of me repeatedly. I writhed beneath him and I felt my hand trail from his chest to his manhood. My fingers massaged him and I felt him buck against my hand.

"Leah. Don't stop", he moaned, before bringing his head up to mine to kiss me. The taste of my arousal still resided on his tongue and I moaned against his mouth. Eventually, he removed my hand from himself and I looked up at him in confusion for a moment.

"I promised I was doing this for _you_, remember?" he said. His voice was deep and throaty, almost like a growl. I'd never seen Carlisle so feral…and I liked it. He quickly picked me up bridal style before moving us to the bedroom and lying on top of me.

He kissed my lips gently, swiping his tongue playfully against my lip. "This is for that day in the clearing."

He trailed down to my neck and sucked gently on it. "This is for making you cry earlier."

He brought his kisses even lower and kissed a trail between my breasts. "This is for not cherishing your body the first time we did this, like it deserved to be."

My core ached for him and I found myself moving against his face that was pressed against my chest.

He brought his face completely up from its position before kneeling at my center. "And this is for not telling you I loved you when I had the chance". He slid into me and we both moaned at the feeling. He thrust into me again and again until eventually we found a sort of rhythm.

Throughout, he made sure to leave feather light kisses all over my body to remind me of his love. This was so different from before. It was gentle, loving. I could nearly feel his love in every touch, every feather light kiss he left against my body. I panted as we made love.

We didn't stop until the early hours of the morning and even then we didn't untangle ourselves from our embrace. Instead we lay in comfortable silence. Neither of us needed to say anything. He propped himself up on his hand and pushed my mussed hair out of my face, gazing at me.

"It was you, wasn't it?" I said, remembering about earlier. He smiled sadly at me before nodding.

"I wish I had come a little earlier", he said, sorrow coloring his voice.

"Carlisle, I don't blame you for any of that. So you shouldn't either", I said sternly. He grinned at me.

"Yes, ma'am", I smiled at him before settling back into his arms.

"I think you turned me into a big mush ball", I confided in him seriously. He raised his eyebrows at me before letting out a loud laugh.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked, still laughing.

"A terrible thing", I said, pretending to be serious even though I wore a large grin.

"Oh, really now," he said, with a mischievous glint in his eye. Before I knew it, he had tackled me to the bed and was tickling me. We laughed at each other, rolling around on the bed almost falling off.

The shrill ring of the phone interrupted our banter and I paused. He pulled me back to our position and pulled the phone of my dresser to hand to me.

"Hello", a deep voice said on the other end and I instantly recognized it as Jacob's.

"Jake? 'That you?" I said surprising myself with the genuine joy in my voice. It had been quite some time since I'd phased and I'd missed my family.

"Yeah, Lee. It's me. Umm…..I have a bit of bad news. We kind of lost Carlisle. We don't know where he is", he said. I could hear his voice was a bit shaky through the phone. I had to cover both mine and Carlisle's mouths to stop out laughter.

"Well actually Jacob, Carlisle is here with me….."

"Oh. Really?" The relief in his voice nearly made me burst out laughing.

"Really."

"So….everything worked out?" He said. He was referring to out talk a while back.

"Yep. Were coming home as soon as possible." I saw Carlisle look at me confused but I shook my head at him.

"That's awesome! Well I'll see you soon, Lee." He said. I waited for the click before I hand up my own phone.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel rushed to go home just because I came here."

"I'm sure. It's time to go home, Carlisle." He heard in my voice that my decision was final and no arguments were made. We were going home.

**So there you have it! The next chapter will be the last. Yes, the story has finally come to an end! I appreciate all the people who read and reviewed my story. Love you, guys! xoxox**


	11. Forever

**Hello, everyone. Yes, it has been a while but I have finally decided to end the story. Thanks for everyone who has consistently read my story. Enjoy.**

_**Epilogue**_

"Leah….."

"Leah. We're here."

I woke with a start, my head hitting the window I had been previously laying my head on. Carlisle unsuccessfully tried to cover his smirk but I saw it anyway and smacked his chest, which I'm sure hurt me more than him. I noticed the forest passing extremely slow as we drove by, and I looked over to see a soft smile on Carlisle's face. I'm sure he noticed my gaze but he kept his eyes on the road. I furrowed my eyebrow at him.

"Aren't vampires supposed to have great reflexes? Speed it up, grandpa." I joked, trying to get something out of him that would explain his strange mood. He gave a soft chuckle but didn't say anymore than that. I let it go, shaking my head at him before crossing my arms and sitting back in my seat.

The car rolled slowly into the Cullen's long driveway and I rubbed my eyes, finally getting a chance to really see what was making Carlisle drive so slow. A bunch of smiling faces greeted us as we drove in to the driveway. Everyone was here. Both of the packs, the Cullens of course, and even the imprints were there smiling brightly at us. I shook my head in awe before turning to Carlisle to glare at him playfully. He grinned at me in return and had the grace to give me a sheepish shrug. He came around to my side of the door before opening it for me. I slid out still reeling from all the people but couldn't help the large grin on my face.

Jacob came forward out of the group, smiling at me. "Welcome back, Beta." Carlisle's arm slid off of me giving me the opportunity to give Jacob a bear hug. I punched him in the shoulder playfully afterwards. Then Seth came forward, followed by Sue, looking like he was ready to cry. I nearly laughed at him but decided it'd be inappropriate considering all that I'd put them through. Instead I gave him a hug although it was somewhat awkward considering he was nearly blubbering into my t-shirt. He let go and surprising all of us Sue walked calmly toward me and smacked me in the back of my head.

"Hey! I thought this was supposed to be a welcome back party!" She glared at me and I wisely shut my mouth.

"What were you thinking, having us worry like that!?" Then her faced softened and I noticed a few tears collecting in her eyes as she reached to give me a hug.

"Don't ever do that again!" she whispered in my ear. I hugged her back surprised at how much I had actually missed her. She pulled back flustered as she wiped her tears causing everyone to laugh at her fiasco. The welcome back's continued and Carlisle's arm stayed around me the entire time. The shock was evident on my face as Renesmee hopped into my arms as I went to greet the Cullens. Everyone held their breath until I rolled my eyes at them and hugged her back. What did they think; I was going to eat the kid? I could almost hear a collective sigh of relief.

The festivities moved inside as Carlisle momentarily left my side to go greet the other Cullen's. I'd forgotten that it wasn't just me who had left their family behind. I'd have to thank him for that later. Jacob's pack was a permanent fixture at my sides as I went around trying to talk to everyone. Seth kept looking at me like he was afraid I'd disappear again. I rolled my eyes at him but tried to act like I didn't notice. I was surprised at Jacob, too. He hadn't left my side either although he'd normally be playing with Renesmee by now.

My eyes zoned in on one of the tables that held every type of cake you could think of. I took a huge slice of a chocolate cake that had caught my eye and sat down, happy to be momentarily freed from talking to so many people although I was still in the company of the pack. As I ate, I looked around appreciatively. They had really gone all out for just a welcome back party. Tables and chairs were strewn with streamers, balloons were floating everywhere, and soft music played in the background. A few tables sat lined up against the wall with a variety of foods, mostly sweets. I knew this had to have been the doings of Alice. But something caught my eye that I hadn't noticed before. Across the back entrance to the kitchen was a large banner that read "Congratulations!" in large red letters. I furrowed my eyebrows before turning to the pack who were not so discreetly looking away from me.

"Um, Jake? What's the occasion?" I asked, confused. I noticed Embry and Quil nervously slip away from the table leaving only Jacob and Seth. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"Okay. What's going on, guys?" They weren't looking at me now. I followed their eyes and my mouth dropped open. A grinning Carlisle stood on one knee with his arm outstretched. A black velvet case sat in his hand. Somehow, everyone had managed to fit into the Cullen's kitchen making me feel hotter than I already felt. My palms were getting clammy. I blinked a few times to clear my eyes.

"Leah, I know you're not one for sappy speeches so I'll keep it short. I love you and want nothing more but to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" He looked at me hopefully, his golden eyes glistening. I hadn't noticed before but Emily stood with a swollen belly grinning at me encouragingly from behind him.

I smiled at him and pulled him up from his knee, momentarily confusing him. Before he could say anything, I pressed my lips to his hoping it would convey everything I wanted to say. We both pulled back at the same time, grinning as everyone cheered and whistled.

"So…yes?" he said quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Yes."

_**Fin**_

**:D Hey guys. Thanks for reading my story. I really enjoyed writing this and reading all of your reviews. So what next? Sequel? Different POV? Just let me know. Until next time…**


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